I'm feeling... Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2005 Everyone is leaving. And they all have their reasons and they are all very good reasons. I just don't know what I am going to do now. I'm the only one left. Brittany is gone, down at the lake. Brittnee is living with her boyfriend now and I get to see her once a month if I'm lucky. Dawn and Lacey are never down here. Dawn only comes down for Steve, and thats perfectly fine, I would just like to see her once in a while. Lacey is always going up to Columbia. I hear that she is doing things up there. I'm afraid for her. I've lost too many people to those sort of "activities", and there seems to be nothing I can do to stop her. Max is moving up to KC at the end of the month so I'll never see him again. Now, Tony, Lexy, and Steve are all moving up to Warrensbug this month. I won't really get to see them at all. I'm sure that they will come down and all, it's just, I don't know. There is just something really comforting to know that your best friends are no less than thiry minutes away from you. Now that everyone is moving away, I don't know what the hell I am going to do. I can't move up there with Lexy and Tony, 'cause I have somewhere here to live with low expenses as well is a cheap place to go to school for now. If I could get all the grants and everything, well, then it would be another story. Also, I can't just leave my family. They are the most important thing right now. I just can't leave them with Megan. She would tear everything apart. My parents can't handle her and my brother is just to irrational when it comes to my sister. How could I leave them with her knowing exactly what she would do to them. Could you guys? So once again, I am finding myself alone. But not just in the boyfriend/girlfriend sense, but in the sense that there is noone for me. I have noone anymore. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. I know that everyone is just a phone call away, but I hate talking to people on the phone. Face to face. That's how I bond. That's how I connect with all of you. Now, however, I have noone to bond with. I have noone to share myself with. I have noone to relate with. I have noone to hang out with. I have noone with whom I can just be. I have noone. I hate so many people in this town that I don't know if I can even find anyone to fill the void that is about to be there. I don't think that this is making any sense. I'm going to miss all of you guys. Good luck in whatever it is that you strive for. I'm sure that you are going to get it. All of you have the strength to get really whatever you want. I know that you aren't going to be gone forever. I still doesn't help though. I just don't know how I am supposed to deal with being utterly alone in this fucking place. You guys are my anchor. The chain is beginning to snap and I feel as if I am already starting to float away. I need someone to hold. Goodbye, Adam "Tyr" Cameron I can't believe this, but I still fucking miss her. I still feel for her. Is this healthy at all? Thank god for self control, eh? I just keep finding myself wondering if she knows... and if I should tell her.

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