I'm feeling... Tuesday, Sept. 20, 2005 Ok, so, as most of you have read, Tony is a little pissed right now. Understandable. I know that there are alot of things are going on right now for him and he gets annoyed at things. Alot. That's fine. I just wish I had known about all of these things. I didn't realize that I was crossing a line there. Sorry about that dude. I know it should have been obvious to me and all but it just didn't register. Really, all ya had to do was say something and that would have been that. I'm really sorry about this. I do go overboard with alot of things and trust me, I know that I have REALLY got to work on this. You won't hear that shit from me anymore. I'm going to work on that. I promise. Now, onto the Lacey-Tony Disaster 2005 (How do you like that? I named it all newsy-like!) I wasn't really expecting such an abrupt ending, that's all. You two have fought before and it always seemed to work itself out. I thought that this was just going to be another one of those times, just this time it would need a little help. I didn't see all of the other shit. God forbid I not want to see two of the last friends that I have both gnash at eachother and attempt to do something about it. I don't like to let go of family, so back off on that one. I feel very strongly about this whole thing. I did nothing wrong here. Nothing. It's not my fault that she doesn't feel comfortable being around us. It's not my fault that she found someone that she likes more than us. It's not my fault that you just don't care anymore. I'm sorry to see that it's so easy for you two to let go. You guys are all that I have and it really hurts to see you guys just bail on eachother. I mean, what's wrong with being a savior? It's how I identify myself with a role when things like this happen. It's how I deal with the whole thing. I can't sit back and let these things happen without seeing what can be done about the situation in hopes of making it better. By the way, Tony, I'm already pretty sure that Steve doesn't really care for me anymore. I just don't like to think about it. I've got nothing around here and I'm pretty sure I've done that to myself. All of these problems seem to be brought on by me. Only me. My job, college, my social life, my love life. I could have done something about all of this in high school by just focusing on school and not on what others though of me. I should have worried about getting my ACTs and my SATs out of the way long ago rather than worry about work. I should I reached out and sought out more friends so that I would be alone now. I know that these are all MY problems and that I ALONE have to work on them. No one has to tell me so. I know that I am just one fat fuck up with no hope and no aspiration, and that ony I can do something about the situation that I'm in. I know that only I can stop hating myself and everything about me. I just don't know how. Now I want you guys to know that I am not angry at any of you in the least. You guys have done nothing, absolutely nothing wrong. It's me. It's always been me. And upon that note, I don't think that I should come up there for a while. I want to, but, I just don't think I should. I don't know. I want to see you guys. All of you. But it might not be a good I idea. Just forget about me. It's easier in the end. I'll talk to you guys online if I see you, and I'll watch for you on WWII. I just won't be coming up there. Again, this has nothing to do with me being upset with ANY of you. I just don't want to complicate things any more than they already are. I love you guys a whole bunch and a half. Sincerely, Adam "Tyr" Cameron

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